Dear Lori

I have been thinking a lot about you lately. Debating whether or not to send you a letter and try a reunion again. You see, at the time of our reunion last year, I was in a bad spot. Dealing with my own personal pitfalls in life and meeting you for the first time brought up feelings and emotion that I was clearly not able to deal with at the time. I'm not saying that lying is excuseable, because it's not. And your inability to be honest with me when it really mattered hurt more than you will ever know. I get so confused. My mind says to just walk away and leave things as they are. But my heart says to give it one more go. But I don't want to be hurt again. I know that sometimes we just have to take life as it comes and be satisfied with what we have, no matter how little we think of it. Maybe we were just meant to meet once and that's it. Maybe I was to find out the things I needed by meeting you from that one meeting and be done with it. Or maybe I'm supposed to come back and try again. Maybe I didn't put in enough effort the first time around. So many maybes. So many unknowns. So much confusion. I guess the most important thing that I need you to know is that there isn't a day that goes by that you don't pop into my mind, if only for a second. I wish so much for you and your family. Most importantly, I wish for happiness for you. And peace with your life. I don't know. Some days I am just not "up" to writing the letter because deep down inside I don't think it will fix anything at all. Although, then I wonder, is there really anything to fix? Who knows. For now, I think this is it.

Dear Lori

Once upon a time, there was a little girl. She was sweet and innocent. She had the whole world before her, but many obstacles to tackle. You see, she was born to a mother who abused drugs and alcohol. Her father was in and out of jail and struggling to keep his life on some sort of track. One day, the calvary road in and took this little girl from her mom and her whole life as she knew it was about to change. She went to a center, where they tried to contact her mother. But there was no luck. This little girl was then sent to a foster home, to begin her new life. Throughout the course of the foster homes, there were three, her mother was required to complete some goals in hopes of getting her little girl back. Goals that included getting a job, parenting classes, getting off drugs. After 2 and a half years, she still hadn't completed any of the requirements to get her little girl back. Shortly thereafter, a judge ruled that the little girl be placed for adoption and that the mother permanently lose custody. The father voluntarily gave up his rights because he realized that he just could not raise a little girl on his own, no matter how much he wanted to. Finally, a new family came a long and saw this little girl and plucked her out of the foster home and brought her to their home. A promise of a bright future, and a stable family. This little girl was me.