Dear Lori

I have been thinking a lot about you lately. Debating whether or not to send you a letter and try a reunion again. You see, at the time of our reunion last year, I was in a bad spot. Dealing with my own personal pitfalls in life and meeting you for the first time brought up feelings and emotion that I was clearly not able to deal with at the time. I'm not saying that lying is excuseable, because it's not. And your inability to be honest with me when it really mattered hurt more than you will ever know. I get so confused. My mind says to just walk away and leave things as they are. But my heart says to give it one more go. But I don't want to be hurt again. I know that sometimes we just have to take life as it comes and be satisfied with what we have, no matter how little we think of it. Maybe we were just meant to meet once and that's it. Maybe I was to find out the things I needed by meeting you from that one meeting and be done with it. Or maybe I'm supposed to come back and try again. Maybe I didn't put in enough effort the first time around. So many maybes. So many unknowns. So much confusion. I guess the most important thing that I need you to know is that there isn't a day that goes by that you don't pop into my mind, if only for a second. I wish so much for you and your family. Most importantly, I wish for happiness for you. And peace with your life. I don't know. Some days I am just not "up" to writing the letter because deep down inside I don't think it will fix anything at all. Although, then I wonder, is there really anything to fix? Who knows. For now, I think this is it.